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Commitment Without Responsibility

We all want to be part of something greater than self.  
We want to be inspired, acknowledged, even carried sometimes.  We want to learn and share while filling up with all that surrounds us.  We want to be encouraged and supported in our dreams, desires and goals.  We want to have a team of like-minded people who help to expand our vision.  And yet, each one of us yearns for the space of freedom that only comes from within, when we stand on our own two feet.  Alone in the world can be a very scary place, or it can be the ultimate in autonomy, sovereignty of self... free will.
Therein lies the interplay between self and the others.
We have a challenge of epic proportions to balance the self with the same attention and respect shown to others.  When we are incapable or unwilling to find the balance between internal and external needs this becomes commitment without responsibility.
In the corporate world, responsibility to the commitment is legally regulated and monitored with contracts and written agreements.  We are held to our commitment by a governing body that enforces our responsibility to that contract with a penalty if not adhered to.  Not so in every day life. Not so in our relationships with our communities, friends and loved ones.
Many of us are ready to make a commitment when we see that we will benefit in some way from that choice.  However, many of us forget that with every choice comes responsibility and consequence.  We forget or are unaware that the success of our commitment is directly related to how responsible we are towards it.
If we commit to something or someone, and extend no energy or effort towards the success of our commitment, it will fail. It will fail even if the other person or people are extending effort towards the commitment.  They will inevitably extend extra effort to try to fill the void left and eventually they may choose to walk away as the other did, shifting the responsibility elsewhere.  A perpetual pay it forward "Fuck You".
Commitment With Responsibility does not mean we get to bail on our commitments.  But we can change the parameters of that commitment with consent and agreements. No one should be forced to do or be something that is hurtful to their body or soul.  However, our entitlement to pleasure and ease, luxury if you will, has got our values all mixed up.  There was a time that your "word" was your honor.  We could trust that if a person said they would, they did. In these times of deep narcissism, "I was guided to" is an acceptable excuse to renege on a commitment.  We have confused Self Care with being Self Absorbed.  In a village or community there will always be one or two who will be sitting at the edge, wandering in the trees or making themselves look busy when the time to work is at hand.  There will always be people who would choose to do less and take more.Commitment with responsibility requires a do more, take less approach.  Everyone wins in this approach. In this approach, there is always a little extra for when the times are lean and for those who are truly in need of help.I've said for a long time"Always give more to the land and the people of that land than you take." and I've seen this attitude of responsibility bring so many gifts and miracles.
So, what are the benefits of being responsible to our commitments? Strength of character, sense of completion,expanded communication skills, more cohesive and respectful relationships, reduction of manipulation experienced, greater sense of truth and trust, growth of safe, successful communities and an overall sense of self worth and respect.
We are solely responsible for our life and everything that happens in it.  Shifting that responsibility without consent causes harm to the other.  That burden you left them with may be too much for them to bear. Instead, ask for help, be willing to receive from a good and willing source in whatever form it comes. Ultimately, your choices are your commitments.  Choose where you direct your energy and attention wisely.  
Be true to you and remember to take responsible action towards your choice.
Sincerely,Mama Celeste

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