Spank Me Lovingly

Let's Change Your View of BDSM

What is BDSM? BDSM is a term used to cover many acts of sexuality: bondage, discipline, domination, submission, sadism, and masochism.

People tend to have a very negative idea of what BDSM is - they see it as something dark, angry, and cruel. Like a lot of things

in life, we form ideas of what we think something is upon what we have seen of it through forms of media. A lot of porn does depict BDSM as all of these dark things, but it doesn't have to be that way!

These types of sexual acts require a lot of planning, communication, and most of all trust! You can form very loving bonds with your partner while experimenting with this. Take a master and slave scenario for example;  this does not necessarily mean a dominant person being mean and bossing the submissive around - it could be the submissive having so much love for the dominant that they want to do all they can to please them. It can feel so amazing to give someone all of yourself, and mean it. 

Another myth to bust: the whole pain thing.  I've heard so many people say "why would you ever want someone to hurt you like that".  Here's a little info about your body; when you are NOT sexually aroused and you experience pain, a nerve receptor in your skin, called a Nociceptor, sends a signal to your brain telling you there's pain. However, when you ARE sexually aroused you have an excess amount of endorphins kicking around in your system. These endorphins actually block that pain signal and turn it into a pleasure signal. When you're in the moment it’s not pain, but pure pleasure! 

If BDSM is something that has ever peaked your interest, there is a lot of great information out there. The biggest cause of bad BDSM is lack of education and communication. A book that I strongly recommend is Jay Wiseman's S&M 101. Or come out to our next Introductory BDSM Workshop at Positive Passions.

By The Positive Passions Team